Stemming from a conversation last night, that also continued today, I thought about the importance of my lady friends. Of late (the last three years or so of my life) I have found out a lot about myself, who I want to be and who I feel I truly am. The truest form of me, the cumulative average of the people I surround myself with, and the person I feel that I want to share with the world. Some parts of me developed due to pain, hurt, heartbreak and solitude. Other areas developed because of the amazing people I get the privilege of surrounding myself with on a regular basis. That being the case, I have to give props to my ladies. The powerful, dramatic, wonderful and inspiring women that I seek to cultivate relationships with and the ones who keep me grounded.
While I have many acquaintances, I believe that a person sort of morphs into this collective individual of those they surround themselves with most, the average of the best traits they absorb from those around them. These are my teachers. These are my mentors, my sounding board for ideas, my voice of reason (or voice of encouragement when I need it), and they are mine. I love them fiercely and would do anything for them. We need to do something that could very well take us to jail? Fuck it, let’s go. I am 100% for them, I am fully committed to those relationships and I have no shame in it.
On the other side of that coin, it always interests me to see or hear the imprint that I leave on others. For instance, there are a few ladies who I know on a less personal level, but yet somehow they turn to me for advice. Like who the fuck trusts me?! I am a walking embodiment of childishness and debauchery. I’m not ashamed of it, yet I don’t know that I’m the example to follow all the time. Sometimes though, I am reminded that I have something to learn and something to teach with each interaction. I get told that I help other friends be more honest, to speak their truth and to be stronger than they feel they are. That to me is one of the greatest compliments I could ever receive. I’m not always strong, I’m rarely the smartest person in the room and I have my own hang ups about my body and my relationships, but yet I still seek to portray the person or the strength that my friends need. If you need someone to be strong for you, I will. If you need to cry and have someone listen and not break down with you, I’m here. If you need some tough love, you know I’m the first to tell you the honest truth, because that’s what friends do.
No one needs another person to lie to them. No one needs to just hear things that make them feel good. People need to be challenged in order to grow. They need honest feedback in order to improve themselves and their situation. I want honesty. I want only the raw and unfiltered, unplugged version of my friends (or any relationship) so I can see the ugly parts and love them still. I want my friends to know that I am there for them, and only them, not what they wear, where they live or the car they drive. I don’t need gifts, I need meaningful connections and relationships that I can treasure for the rest of my life.
I love making the people I love feel special and I hope that everyone who reads this has a person (or many) who make them feel that way. I feel so grateful and so undeserving of the fabulous friendships that I have the privilege of calling mine. Ladies, you know who you are, and I hope you read this and understand how much you mean to me. With the dreaded “Valentine’s Day” looming in the near future (less than a freaking month away), I think it’s so important that all of us ladies support and love each other. I prefer to celebrate my February 14th with relationships and friends that I know will last longer than most men in my love life, so “Galentines Day 2018” is going to be another fun one, surrounded by beautiful women who make me the best version of myself that I could ever hope to be. XOXOXO, ladies, and love yourself now – your future self will thank you.