In the recently released video “Be a Lady” narrated by Cynthia Nixon – it spoke about the multitude of contradictory phrases, stereotypes and commentary that have been, and continue to be, pushed upon women.
I don’t subscribe to the belief system that a “lady” is someone who never steps out of line, who never speaks her mind, or dresses for the visual consumption of others rather than her own comfort or creativity. I wrote previously about the strange interactions that came with shaving my head, and also about how and why I dress like I do. I know that I have short hair, wear men’s cologne, and very often wear men’s clothing, yet there’s nothing about those actions that makes me feel that somehow my value or worth is determined (or diminished) by them. What I wear or how I present myself does not deem me a “lady” or not.
I don’t believe that I need to be a “lady” at all, especially given that I was not a part of the historical social system that once used that term as an identifier for people of nobility, or as a prefix to allegorical feminine figures.
Rather than a “title” – I want to be known as a person. A human being. A productive member of my community and an asset to my workplace. I am a supportive partner, a reliable friend and a beloved child. I am wholly and perfectly the balance of all things masculine and feminine. I’m far more than one noun or adjective could describe. I am not a “lady” – I am not a label.