If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right. – Mary Kay Ash
It’s kind of strange that when we look at and examine the concept of “feeling self confident” it also tends to trigger feelings of guilt, shame or negativity. We have been conditioned (and I mean this as men AND women, but women especially) to believe that somehow it’s “arrogant”, “egotistical”, or “selfish” to believe in ourselves.
As discussed in “The 5 Second Rule” book by Mel Robbins, there are things that people interpret as “confidence” but they aren’t REALLY, such as being “outgoing” or “outspoken”. Yes, one can speak easily to others, but that doesn’t mean they believe in their ideas, their capabilities or their worth. Also, confidence is not always just about being the “loudest” individual, as confidence can sometimes mean knowing when the moment is right (or not) to speak up and share the idea or feeling.
Not to say someone who is confident NEVER has moments of fear, anxiety or hesitation; It’s just that those who are confident work through those moments and train their minds to think of solutions, best case outcomes, and the way forward rather than fixating on things that would otherwise hold them back. Having a bottomless well to pull from, filled with self belief, will take you further than you imagine.
I’ve learned through my own life that not letting moments pass you by is a great exercise in conquering fear and gaining confidence. Say the thing you want to. Reach out to that person who inspires you. Apply for that job you think you won’t get. Ask for that raise. Do the things that make you hesitate, and do them every day. In a world of uncertainty, it’s a great time to implement taking those leaps of faith before life passes you by, or the opportunity is gone. Life is short – so you better start making it a life of your own design. Go confidently forward into the direction of your dreams.