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COVID-19 Dating Family Friendship Habits Love Relationships Thinking

Perceived vs. True Relationship Markers

It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality. – Arnold Bennett

The picture below made me think:img_7040

I posted it on my social media as well – however I think it is worth discussing. 

Yes – I agree that we should all do our small part in checking up on others, being a good human being etc. HOWEVER I so FULLY agree that the narcissistic/selfish idea that “people aren’t asking me how I’M doing, so they don’t care” is just ridiculous.

Pandemic aside, we must all resign ourselves to the fact that we are only important to ourselves. Truly.
Yes, your mother loves you, your spouse adores you, and your children will likely always believe you a hero…however, no one, NO ONE is obligated to care for or about you. If you exist solely on the amount that others care (or SHOW their perceived affection) – then you will eventually starve to death. The adoration, care and love that we need must (as you might guess) starts from within. I’m not saying to shun people or keep them distant, however we must collectively start to accept that we are responsible for our own happiness, self worth and (perceived) value. 

ALSO

Along those same lines, with that picture – stop making relationships “tit for tat”. You are not always the best child, friend, partner, lover, or whatever your role is. On the other side, your other halves of those relationships will not always be perfect toward you. It’s ok. Over time, you will (hopefully) have a deep enough relationship and enough shared experiences to understand when the other missteps, and why, and be able to exercise forgiveness, love and understanding. Just because someone doesn’t act in a way that YOU think they ought, doesn’t mean they aren’t planning (or executing) something to show you how much you mean to them. We all have our preferred, or best understood, love languages – but we can’t just overlook the ways that someone is showing us they care because we don’t “prefer” that gesture. 

Be good, do good and don’t feel pressured or guilt tripped. XOXO

 

 

By DreamerSD

Life enthusiast

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