A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. – Wade Boggs
Psychological resilience specifically is what I am referencing in this post, which is described as “the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly.”
I find that an often overlooked, but very important piece of being resilient is allowing yourself to feel your feelings first. Being resilient doesn’t just come from squashing feelings down or “moving on” in a rush, it’s about seeing what is coming up for you and giving your head, and heart, time and space to process. Sadness, loneliness, horror, these are all real and there’s a place for them, but not endless amounts of time.
After having actually processed the feelings, or emotions, then a plan can be formulated in which to push forward and to return to that “pre-crisis” state. As with most things in life, this is simple but not always easy. Finding a way to look at the situation, take from it the lessons or memories, and plan a way to make it meaningful is how resilience is practiced. It’s not a matter of being “happy” about things, but knowing that the way you choose to take them in and make them a part of you can be harmful or helpful, but that’s up to you.
Perhaps you commit to “learning” the lesson in the circumstance, and really commit it to heart and head. Maybe you decide to treasure the memories of the moment and preserve them in an album, a playlist or a journal entry. None of this is dictated by a timeline, and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it, what matters is that you find a way to change the inner dialogue from a script laced with blame, hurt or negativity, and switch to thoughts of how to move forward and make things better either presently or the next time something happens in a similar manner.