Many times in the course of our lives, we will enter into relationships and over time that dynamic will change. It may completely run its course and the relationship will end, or perhaps the dynamic will just shift, such as going from a friend to a lover, or vice versa. These friendships, work related, or personal/romantic relationships can ebb and flow over time, and without the “built in” dedication that more often comes with family, they can disintegrate.
I think what I am trying to focus on most, with respect to the challenges of changing relationships, is remembering the good and taking the lessons from them. Whether we like to admit it or not, every person who has any sort of relationship beyond a passing hello, will likely leave an imprint on the other person. The way you made someone feel, or how they made you feel will always be the thing you remember, long after the words have been forgotten.
I won’t deny my own sadness by the demise of a particular relationship of late, but I know that there were lessons learned on both sides, and more good memories than not. We taught each other, challenged each other, and in the end changed each other in many ways. Our relationship label and dynamic has shifted, but that does not negate all the moments of fun, joy, and love – and more than anything, I want to treasure those. I want my heart to turn toward them full of love, gratitude and appreciation rather than bitterness, resentment or anger. We choose each other – and we have to accept our choices, and our contributions. I choose now to hold this person in my heart, forever, and to consciously choose to be happy for them and whatever path their life takes.
Life is too short to spend it holding onto hurt for the sake of feeling vindicated, justified in a position/action, or just out of pride and an unwillingness to admit when we are wrong. When those relationships change, and they will, just do your best to remember the times when your heart poured out love to them so easily and they gave it right back.