So here I am. You may not have ever seen me before, but two days ago I decided to unceremoniously buzz cut my hair. I know it seems abrupt and impulsive, but that’s pretty far from the truth. I’ve actually contemplated this for quite some time (I’ve had an undercut on 1/3 of my hair for over 2 years now) but was just never ready to take that full leap and shave it all off.
Fortunately for me, I’m apparently blessed with a nicely shaped head and not too many scars lol … or so I’m told. However it’s been an interesting transition to take part in.
I won’t say there’s a “movement” or any big social calling for women to shave their heads, but there is a strange reaction that happens from society. I had tried to prepare myself for these reactions by reading and educating myself before I did the cut.
I knew people would question my sexuality. I am a heterosexual woman, who has a boyfriend, and yet as soon as I came to work the day after I did it, a male co worker who knows me asked me “do you have a girlfriend now?” This was not surprising, albeit intensely annoying. It annoyed me for many reasons, the fact he thought he could ask me such a person thing, the way he so casually joked about it as if my sexuality were funny, how he felt he had the right to ask me that even though a persons rights in the workplace are supposed to be protected against those interactions, how he said that out the gate – and how if I were a stranger who maybe was battling cancer – that might deeply wound and affect me.
Some people called me a disappointment, my own mother said (before she even saw it) “you’re such a pretty girl, I just don’t understand why you try to make people see you as not.” These reactions are also not surprising, however it really makes me wonder how people get so wrapped up in one tiny piece of my outward appearance. It’s hair. It grows back. If I were suffering an illness and cut my hair they would applaud the action and call me brave, however because I did it by choice I’m somehow tying to make myself ugly? I don’t understand (or really care to) why a woman’s hair is supposed to define her beauty, instead of her personality, her kind heart, her mind and creativity, her love for others and her many other parts that have nothing to do with her exterior.
I’m still adjusting to the new do, but so far, it’s really only added fuel to the fire of my own life. I want to be better, do more and achieve greater things to prove to myself (and others) that my hair has nothing to do with my love of self or ability to succeed.
I challenge people to put me down. I want people to question the norm and to ask me about my choices so maybe they will re-evaluate their own views of the world.
And thank you to all my friends (and strangers) who have complimented my new look, told me to remain strong in my beliefs and to let those negative comments go.